Oh let me tell you...

Sometimes it is so hard for me to be a friend to someone who could care less. That is why I don't have many "close" friends. You put your heart and soul into a friendship and they only give you 10% back. There are only a handful of people I would consider my true friends. Yes, I'll be nice to the others but I'm not going to pretend we're BFF's anymore. Errr can't you tell I'm just frustrated! I swear, I haven't been myself lately and I'm trying to figure out where I lost her. She's back there somewhere, maybe lying on a dirt path and just got too tired to go on. I need her back though.

I hope life starts turning around. I have so much coming up and it's scaring me.

FEELING OF THE MOMENT: DRY AND DUSTY

His ways are FOR SURE not mine....

I've been thinking about how much trusting God's wisdom and love for us is so vital in life. I watch the 99 Balloons video from time to time because it reminds me of how powerful God is. The parents of Elliot could have forgotten ALL about God during their hardship, but as you see at the end of the video, God is who they praise! It touches me every time! I think to myself, why would God even have done that to them? Bring something so precious into their life only to take it away. Yet, the very people who walked through this trial realized the purpose of it all so quickly. It was so God would get the Glory. Look at how this one "tragedy" in some eyes, "blessing" in others, has touched so many hearts. May we all come to that peace and know the saying is true...ALL things happen for a reason. We might not like the reason and we may never know the reason but HE DOES.

Gosh, this writing stuff on a computer really helps get out your thoughts!! Even if only 3 ppl read it! haha.

Love you ALL!!!!!!!

...and then Seth came along...

Seth use to travel with a ministry called TZM and they were at my church for a about a week back in February of 07. I got to know some of the people on the team and even had a small crush (nothing serious AT ALL) on one of the other guys. I actually wouldn't call it was a crush, it was more of the fact that I thought he was a cool person. Well one evening I saw Seth walking by and I said to my friend "Dare me to go talk to him?" lol. I don't think I even allowed her to respond and before I knew it I walked over to him and the infamous words came out of my mouth "You know, I think you should smile more". I think he was taken back a bit that this random girl was telling him that. He replied with "Oh do you now?". That was basically it because he started doing something else (I think someone rudely interrupted us). What I thought was cute was when he saw me later that night, he made a point to walk by me and smile.

Ok, so the next day I got on the team's website to check them out and I came across Seth's profile. I noticed on one of his pictures it said "for a good time call home" and what followed was his phone number. Well I couldn't believe that someone would ACTUALLY put their real number on the web so... I send a text to it. My text said "Who's this". haha Like I didn't know! Well, like the dummy I am I forgot that people could CALL me back if they wanted and that's exactly what Seth did. I didn't pick up though!! I was too chicken. He left a random voice mail, which I wish I would have kept. I proceeded to tell him, in a text, who I was, I was the girl who thought he needed to smile more. I think from that day on we never stoped talking. We even used that day (February 26th) as our "anniversary", which I think is perfect! hehe

The very next day he walked up to me and introduced himself in the "proper" way. I think it was later that night, after service was over, we stood at the top of the sanctuary and talked until everyone else had gone home. I think we were even forced out!! :o) We found ourselves talking about such random things and laughing at each other's crazy humor or lack there of.

This next part is one of Seth's favorite memories. It was their last night there and I had to leave a little early. So I located where Seth was to say goodbye. I think he was going in for a SIDE HUG and well... I just put my hand out to shake his!! haha. Later on he said that I left him thinking "That's all I get? A handshake?" To this day I don't remember why I just shook his hand! I think it's funny though.

After that things moved pretty fast, but in a good way. The team came back like a month later and we got to hang out even more. We talked so much that it felt as if we knew each other all along. Being that we only get to see each other 4 times out of a year, we make the most of it. We have done so many fun and exciting things that I can't wait to see what life will hold for us when we actually live in the same place! This makes me want to continue telling our stories but I'll leave it at this one for now! :)

So yeah... that was the start of it all.

To be continued....

Oh my word! Want to know one of my favorite parts?! You do? Ok good! Seth said this is how he knew that he knew I was THE ONE. One day while I was at work, I sent a text to Seth and asked him if he had any kids (now remember this was still very early on). He responded with, "No, do you?". I said "Yes, I have a little girl who's two". HAHA He was silent for a while and then responded with something along the lines of "Oh, that's nice". I said "I'm just MESSING WITH YA" lol He in return told me I was sick and twisted but that he loved the fact I could joke around! All I know is that I would have LOVED to see his facial expression!!

hehe

Calm down a couple notches!

I am getting SO nervous, anxious, emotional, you name it! So much is going to be happening from now till the end of the year. Fun and exciting stuff as well as sad and embarrassing stuff. Let me give you some details...

Fun and exciting stuff includes Seth moving here finally, visiting Canada and seeing my nieces and nephew, my Aunt and Uncle coming to visit from Canada and probably other stuff I can't think of right now. Also, hopefully mom and dad getting custody of the kids (which is another blog for a later time). That is exciting but also terrifying all at the same time!

Embarrassing (and sad too) is being in a beautiful wedding and being the biggest one in the wedding party (don't get me started).

Sad is saying goodbye to my nieces and nephew and my Aunt and Uncle and Seth moving here...

Why do I say Seth moving here you might ask? Well, I feel sad for him. He has to leave his friends and family and move to a place where he hardly knows anyone. All because he loves me! Talk about wanting everything to work out perfectly!! I guess it's not really "sad" but it is definitely emotional. We have gone two years of basically loving each other through words (aka the phone) and only seeing each other a handful, if that, out of the year. So of course it will take some getting use to going from hardly seeing each other to seeing each other all the time! I am excited though, don't get me wrong. I know it's going to be great, it's just the whole transition period that gets to me.

That being said, God has reminded me of this - HE IS IN CONTROL! Seth and I have waited patiently and allowed God to take the steering wheel, so why should I stress and worry about things now. They will either fall into place or God will show us another path to take. He's so glorious. Even talking about how He's got it under control right now makes me feel better! (I love you Lord).

So yeah... next obstical I have to overcome is realizing I'm beautiful the way I am. Yes, I can lose a few (OK A LOT) of lbs but that's the future and right now I am who I am. SO GET LOST DEVIL. Man, for real though, who does he think he is. I have to keep telling myself I will get through the wedding! It won't be as bad as I think it will be! Plus, all focus will be on the bride...NOT ME! Unless I fall! haha

Alright, I'm done ranting for the day! Much love to all who read this!

:)

So I was thinking about how people always say "Enjoy life, you never know when it will be gone".. or something along those lines. What I thought about is how it's not what you do in your own life as much as it's what you do in other peoples lives. I will be dead, so nothing will matter to me. It's what I leave behind. It's who I've inspired, laughed with and loved. Most importantly, did I leave Jesus with them. There was a professional baseball player that died recently, he was from this area, and to everyone around him he had everything. He was living the American dream (which is another blog in itself). Then in a heartbeat, a blink, it was over. He was gone. I don't know if he knew the Lord but it goes to show that you can have everything you've imagined but in the end the only thing that matters is your relationship with God. I'm learning to be thankful everyday for life and to enjoy those around me. Even you guys reading this!! So basically this was to tell you to slow down a little and really take in all that's around you.

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give - Sir Winston Churchhill.


Oh and by the way... my brother took the picture in this blog. Isn't is pretty!!??

Ok I'm trying it

So... I wasn't really going to do this because I know Kristine will get on here and scrutinize my spelling. You know the your and you're and then and than. Then I thought a little more and I realized I'll do what I want. This is my blog spot and if I want to spell then when I should spell than... I will. So... Kris when you are reading this... BACK OFF!! haha. No, j/k (kinda). I'll try my best. I can't promise you big words though... :)

I think this is going to be more of an inspiration page... a page full of quotes that I either come up with or ones I find. Maybe passages from the Word, or just what God is speaking to me. I might throw in a little funny stuff here and there as well. I may even vent from time to time. I just hope you come on this journey with me. I can't promise I'll talk to you everyday but I will see you once in a while.... so until next time.


(Yeah.. so how's that for the first blog? Short and sweet!! WHOOohoooo. Uh-oh.. I was thinking and what if this takes me away from PLURK??!!)

K, BYE!